Forever My Son

(Consider yourself warned ~ this is a LONG post with LOTS of pictures!)

I have anticipated this day since before we met Milo.

Yes, it's a wonderful date to achieve within the adoption community, but for whatever reason it just seems huge on a personal level. 

I mean, ONE Year.

365 Days.

Small in the scale of a lifetime, but enormous in our son's life.

We have experienced every season with our son. 

We have not been away from him for longer than a few hours.

For an entire year. 

This is one of Milo's referral pictures (3 total)
@ 15-18 months (I think)

An updated picture received just before we travelled
@ 19-20 months
I remember desperately wanting to see our boy smile- I couldn't wait to see him happy!

That's what I was waiting for!!!!

A peek into our son's personality

• Loves cars (real, toys, movies) - Daddy is so proud & can't wait till he's a little taller & can help out working on them (I'm seeing some type of muscle car in his future, if Daddy has anything to say about it)

• Loves Elmo (but not so hot about Sesame Street, go figure)
• Loves B*rbies (thanks Xandra)
• Loves torturing tormenting playing with the dog
• Loves the word NO (saying it, not hearing it!)
• Loves being tickled
• LOVES water
• baths
• pools
• puddles
• dog's water bowl

• Adores his sister above anyone else (yep, even Mom & Dad are below Xandra)

• Dislikes socks (therefore LOVES sandals) - will peel them off as soon as he walks into the house (just like his Daddy)
• Comedian
• loves to elicit laughs from anyone & everyone
• goes out of his way to get us to laugh (even attempting "slapstick" comedy, which occasionally ends up in an injury)

• Outgoing
• Daring
• Stubborn

• Trusting
• Confident
• Loving (leg hugs are the best! but the hug-you-so-hard-he-almost-chokes-you hugs are even better!)
• Smart (oh my word! he is so smart!!)
• Playful 

• Endless energy (like Energiz*r Bunny. Sun-up to Sun-down & beyond.)

We have experienced highs and lows, as with any relationship.

We have experienced grieving (& I'm positive we'll go through more).

We have experienced his fear.

We have experienced complete, unadulterated joy. 

We have experienced what it is to discipline a boy who has most likely never been disciplined before.

(The orphanage told us to just give him candies if he was upset)

(He has become so comfortable in time-out that he often refuses to come out after his time is up- he'll sit there until he's good & ready to come out, on his own timetable, thankyouverymuch! -we might need to rethink the discipline method)

We are experiencing his first words (with us).

We are now officially & irrevocably "Mama," "Dada," & "La-La" (Xandra).

We have experienced the heartfelt, unsolicited, spontaneous words every adoptive parent longs to hear: 

"I lala {love you}!" (swoon!!)

We have witnessed the transformation of a lost, terrified, sad, confused baby boy.

We have witnessed this boy grow into a confident, nothing-can-get-me-down or stop-me 

full-fledged toddler.

He has turned our lives completely upside down.

Made us feel like we're taking crazy pills!

So much for those wonderfully lazy days, when I could actually lay down a few minutes if I was tired or didn't feel well (precious Xandra would even cover me up, kiss me on my forehead, and go off to play quietly on her own! bless that girl!).

So long to predictable schedules.

Milo is a whirlwind of constant activity.

And I can't imagine our lives without him.

He has brought us back to life.

I have never seen Matt so proud (don't get me wrong- Matt adores Xandra, but has just never been able to fully embrace his inner-tea-party-B*rbie-doll-playing-self!).

Milo's zest for life is absolutely contagious.

And we all adore him!

HAPPY FOREVER FAMILY DAY BABY BOY!!

"The mysteries of love no one knows,

But the gift of your life, your birth mother bestowed.

To live together wasn't meant to be,

So she searched high and low for a solution to see.

She looked for a way to do the best she could do, 

To make sure you were cared for so her heart would be true.

She wrapped you up warmly and started to cry,

As she told you your name and whispered goodbye.

Then your mom and your dad, they heard about you,

So across the ocean they came.

You were the child that they both wanted so much,

And today they'd do the same."

~  Mei-Li and the Wise Laoshi (by Kay Bratt)

**I highly recommend this book!! 

Beautiful story & Beautiful illustrations!! 

Makes me cry every time I read it. 

Referral Day Anniversary!!

Exactly one year ago today...
a Tuesday
at 11:24 am
while I was shopping for some winter clothes
I received an email from our adoption coordinator:

... I was on the databank last night and did see a little boy that I wanted to share with you, I am not sure if you would be open to his special need or not though, he is missing the lower half of his left arm, and has an issue with his kidney, but I am not sure the details of his kidney, you would have to see the medicals.  Let me know if you would be interested in learning more about him.  I cannot guarantee that he is still on the databank, but he may be, I thought I would share him with you though just in case you may be interested.  I have attached a couple of pictures for you to see and his development report. Let me know what you think. 

Zheng Nan Gan

Male
2009-08-01
postoperative exarticulation of left elbow; comose concrement of right kidney 

I immediately forwarded the email & pictures to Matt. He was worried... what did that "concrement of right kidney" mean? Then I was worried. I'd kind of skipped over that part in my rush to see the pictures (yeah- I'm the pictures first, facts later kind of girl).

Although we were a little "gun shy" (this post explains), we took a leap of faith & submitted all of his medical history to Cincinnati Children's IAC. Two days later (2 days that I didn't sleep at all, or concentrate at school), we got word back that he appeared to be healthy... we still didn't know what "conferment of right kidney" meant, but we decided to move forward any way.

So, on October 29, 2010, we locked his file. We were adopting this little boy! He was ours... aside from getting official approval from the Chinese government.

I stared holes into those pictures for months! Those big, dark, sorrowful eyes. Those full, pouty lips that never showed an iota of a smile. I had no idea when the pictures were taken, how old he was in them, or what he would look like when we finally met him. We begged our agency for an update, but were told they were not allowed to request one. (???-we still don't understand that response) We sent 2 care packages through Ann of Red Thread China. She did such a wonderful job getting our packages to Milo's orphanage, but we still didn't receive any updated information.

Finally, out of desperation & frustration, we sent one final care package through Gifts to China with Love in April 2011 (by this time, we already had our TA). We told Sheri the most important thing to us was getting an update on Milo's measurements. While a picture would be nice, we knew he would be in our arms in just a few weeks. We just really wanted to know what size clothes to bring with us.

Sheri delivered. Oh boy, did Sheri deliver!! She managed to get us an update on his measurements, a synopsis of his personality, & a typical "day in the life."

Zheng Nan Gan

Update

April 19, 2011

 Here is the letter from Ms Luo Yi of Shanghai CWI:

我们已经收到了你寄给南甘的包裹，我们都很盼望收养他的那一天。

I just got the gifts for Nan Gan.We wish his forever family come to adopt him soon.

现在把他的情况回复如下，请转告他的父母：Please send the update to his parents.

他最新的指标：

height身高  81 

weight  体重  10  

head C头围  46  

chest C胸围   51   

feet length 足长    13  

teeth牙齿   6

He is a happy and active child. He loves to smile. He will feel nervous when he see strangers. He loves snacks and toys.

他的性格是比较开朗、活泼的，很爱笑，但看到陌生人会有些紧张。他喜欢吃零食、玩玩具。他目前的生活作息为：

every day ,5Am, drink babyformula每天5:00喝配方奶；

6:30Am,gets up, breakfast起床、早餐；

8:00am bath ,formula,steamed egg洗澡、喝配方奶或吃蛋羹；

9:00—10:30am outdoor play户内外活动；

10:30am lunch,formula午餐、喝配方奶；

11:00—13:30nap time午睡；

13:30pm gets up起床；

14:00pm formula ,fruits pieces喝配方奶、吃水果片；

14:30—16:00pm outdoor play 户内外活动；

16:30晚餐 dinner ；

17:00—18:30pm watch TV,indoor play户内外活动或看电视；

19:00 formula喝配方奶；

19:30 go to bed就寝。

照片见附件。

罗怡

PLUS, we got our updated pictures! 

And just a few short weeks later, we held our boy for the first time!
I can't believe it's been an entire year since we first saw our Milo's face.
Wow.
Time flies, doesn't it?

Happy Referral Day!!