True Love: The feeling when you first look in your child's eyes, the tiny little hand gripping your finger, and you can't imagine your life without him or her.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Where To Belong?

Xandra is beginning to struggle with finding a place to fit in to our new family dynamic. I hate seeing her  go through this, though I knew she would. She really cares for Milo, but this is all so new to her. She was an only child for 5 years, with all attention directed only to her. It's been difficult for her to figure out where she belongs now... but it's only been 2 weeks since Milo has been part of our family.

The first 3 or 4 nights after Milo's Gotcha Day, Xandra would wake Matt around 2 or 3 am to tell him how happy she was that Milo was part of our family. She tries so hard to be a good big sister (& she really does a good job!). She's just struggling with sharing the spotlight. Whenever I take a picture of Milo, she insists I take a picture of her as well (which I don't mind). If I'm holding Milo, she begs me to hold her. If I'm tickling Milo, she wants to be tickled at the same time. She's also become rather aggressive in the last few days. It's not enough to give Matt or me a simple hug; she now has to hang on us, wrapping her legs around us & holding on until we nearly fall down. She's begun hitting us & screaming. I have yet to see any of this behavior directed to Milo- only Matt & me.

I understand 100% where this is coming from and why. I know it is something that needs to work itself out. It's just a tiring process. And more than anything, I hate that all Matt & I do any more is discipline her. It feels as though the only things I say to her any more are "Xandra! Stop screaming!" "Xandra, NO!" "Xandra, you know better than to act this way!" I feel like I'm constantly getting after her for one thing or another. Ugh! It seems to just aggravate her feelings of confusion- as though she can't do anything right any more. But she's really testing limits.

I'm sure the jet lag doesn't help at all. We're still pretty far from being on a decent schedule. So, with too little sleep, Xandra becomes hyper & slap-happy, which always leads to bad behavior. I know we'll get through it...  We all desperately need sleep!!! I'm sure that would help the situation immensely!!

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